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This is going to be long I am sure because real life episodes always are. They’re a reflection of sorts for me, and I am long winded. So, bare with me on this pregnancy episode.

In full transparency, this comes out a month after my due date but was batched recorded at least one month before my due date, so we’re really getting through week 35 in this episode. I am spilling the whole pot of unfiltered tea on my experience through each phase.

If you missed episodes 162 and 163 those were part 1 and 2 of pregnancy real talk from the physical, spiritual and business/logistic standpoint – we covered things like expectations, my personal beliefs and experiences, as well as insurance and us not having it, so on and so forth. Check those out if you need to.

This is like a cliff notes episode of my pregnancy for those who want to know. I have been fascinated by the process so far and how it has advanced and evolved. The feelings in each trimester and how each kind of had it’s own theme.

That’s the take for today’s little recap.

Weeks 1-14 are technically the first trimester. And I felt like trash, I was in survival mode, never puked besides having the stomach bug one day, but was nauseous, fatigued but actually tired (I didn’t take a single nap because I couldn’t), lifted maybe 1 time a week from weeks 7-14 or 16, ate exclusively mochas, bean and cheese burritos, grapes, sour patch kids, and bagels and cream cheese, was never satisfied by any of it and felt like food was constantly stuck in my esophagus. I did this thing where I took or felt the need to take really deep breaths or long, drawn out exhales. It annoyed Nate and I both. It was like a reflex. I don’t know. My GI tract was just all off, constipation, diarrhea, anything but normal was pretty much game. The brain fog was so real, I felt like forming sentences was hard at times, and I poured creamer in my water more than once – I never thought pregnancy brain was real until on more than one occasion something like that happened. I had days were my watch let me know I had 3% of my daily movement, I watched 7 seasons of MTV the challenge, was a complete and utter waste, and planned NOTHING for my maternity leave, the baby registry, my birthing plan etc. It was 14 weeks I really felt you just never get back haha. Your body is building a new organ (the placenta) and it just generally sucks. Oh and on a physical note, I was not a fan of the physical changes happening in pregnancy. I was amazed by my body, yes, but def did not like the changes. I am fully open about that. It can be both.

With that, I consider my first trimester pretty mild. Not puking was really lovely. If everything I listed was the worst that was going to happen, I could take it.

Then, we entered the second trimester. Which in my opinion should really start at week 16. Because that’s when I and many women I spoke to actually started to feel different than the first trimester.

Slowly my brain started working, eggs sounded good, I didn’t feel like everything was going to come back up, I pooped normally, and I had a desire to workout and move my body. I could see the light.

I wouldn’t call it bliss – bliss for me is not being pregnant. But yes, in comparison to the first trimester, the second was starting off significantly better. Those three things were the biggest joys for me – wanting to lift again, enjoying and desiring food, and feeling like I wanted to work/gain some clarity and direction in that area. These were huge.

That’s when I started lifting pretty regularly again and quickly realized I needed to buy a pregnancy specific program. So I did.

Week 19 was lifting and prepping my body. As well as locking in maternity leave plans (which is 12 weeks working at 20% – everything is pre-created, just 1:1 biz communications, some email and social media to keep up with), and beginning prep for that. I was certainly thinking about a birth plan or feeling more nervous about it at this point but avoided taking action there for a bit. Until essentially the third trimester.

The second trimester into the third was also full of intense calf cramps and muscle spasms. Trust I was taking all the magnesium and walking and mobilizing my feet and hips – doing all the things. They were just a thing for me. Worth noting. And so strange. They continued all through the third trimester as well.

I killed workouts from mid May to the end of June, then got a staph infection (MRSA to be specific) through week 27-ish. Which wasn’t terrible, just inconvenient. During that time I was feeling physically great and really wanted to lift. So that was disappointing and just provided a low level of constant stress because I was avoiding taking antibiotics as long as possible. But once one of the follicles started to behave more like MRSA (which is what Nate had had and who I got it from), we got me antibiotics. I wish I would have sooner, because it was clearing up within 48 hours. Lots of time wasted there. But baby and me were good, so that’s all that really matters!

July into early August was taken over by Staph time. That was weeks 22-27. Finally went on the antibiotics in week 27 and was back to killing the game in weeks 28-34.

In that period I decided on my birth plan, bought three birth courses, and we finalized our registry in the second trimester as well. So, if you’re in the first or early second trimester and feel behind or like you’ve lost all gains, have no plan, and no registry, breathe. You really do have time. That early third trimester is also when the crying set in for me – very annoying for someone who is not used to crying. I had two full on breakdowns where Nate legit just laughed at me. Then we both laughed because I couldn’t control it.

I was dealing with my armpit issues, not having insurance and spending money through zoom care and my midwife and finally Nate’s doctor to get real solutions. It was just frustrating. Not the worst case scenario but very frustrating in the midst of moving and prepping for bebe.

Mid August through September I was able to lift 4 days per week consistently again, and that meant I was actually felt my best physically in the early third trimester all the way up til week 35. Lifting, the pelvic and breath work as well as walking did wonders for my SI joint, tailbone and sciatica which all caused their own issues in each trimester. But it undoubtedly was better when I limited sitting. Not surprising.

I felt like weeks 23-28 were where I really honed in on and felt good in my physical preparation but knew that I needed the mind piece even more than the physical. I generally started taking in a lot more information around fear, pain and options for birthing in the late second and early third trimester. 

The three birthing courses I got were Mamastefit, Pain Free Birth and Christian Hypnobirthing. All offered something a bit different. My goal was to take in all my options, and just gain awareness of what direction things could go in, have a few plans, and ultimately be as fluid as possible in my birthing experience.

Weeks 30-35 were bombarded with packing, prepping to move, staying in a hotel, with family and moving in. It was utter chaos with a yeast infection in my armpits due to the antibiotic I took for the staph, and then another MRSA outbreak in the pits weeks 33-35. This time resulting in actually have to cut out the boil and do a longer run of antibiotics.

Hoping – at the time of this recording to be able to lift 4 days a week again through the end of pregnancy and ENJOY my last few weeks with bebe boy in my belly before we meet him for real!

Everyone’s pregnancy and birthing experience is individual. It’s the most individual thing that nearly half the world experiences at least once. Insane. And yet people still feel alone in the process. That’s why I share.

I am a woman who never identified with the motherly role, was mortified of child birth and couldn’t conceptualize the idea of actually having a real life baby that I was a part of making. Now here we are.

My values of education and efficacy have never been made so clear as they have through this experience. Their power over fear and their power to create aligned action. I can’t say what my birthing experience will be. I’ve definitely had bebe Miller at this point – so you’ve likely seen at least a snippet of my birth story on the gram. Which is so weird to say now, at week 35 recording this! But I can say I am genuinely excited about it and feel blessed to get to experience pregnancy, labor and the journey of motherhood.

Thanks for tuning in as always, but extra thanks to episodes like these.

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