Yes, just 13 months after Bebe #1. Strap in bitches…

This is going to be an extremely long blog, so grab your coffee, a glass of wine, your spicy water, it doesn’t matter to me, and let’s get to it…

If you prefer to watch on video, check out Bebe #2 Reveal on YouTube here: 

But please do be sure to listen to the entire episode or read this entire blog fully. There is so much that we are going to cover, and all of the context is necessary.

My name is Annie Miller and if you’re new here, I help women enjoy their lifts again, and health and fitness coaches build profitable and sustainable brands without selling their soul to vanity metrics. 

I own a personal brand called Annie Miller Concepts.

And today, we’re diving into that PERSONAL side. 

But no worries, there will be takeaways and perspectives shared for the parent entrepreneur and mum either navigating fitness pre or post natally, or, like me, BOTH.

IMPORTANT NOTE: It would not be on brand for me to begin this blog without some hefty boundaries. Here are some BIG DISCLAIMERS.

First off, it’s ridiculous that I even need to say these, but also fully necessary in today’s culture of lacking the ability to take in content, and pausing to discern whether or not said content is DIRECTED personally AT US before reacting and responding like the child of an a**wipe.

Which, to be fair, none of my people do. You’re the real MVP’s.

With that…

This is OUR story – it’s completely personal. My own experience, set of circumstances and context is so individualized.

I’m not telling anyone what to do, asking for opinions or judging what anyone else has done or wants to do.

That’s something I found so fascinating about the entire prenatal, labor and postpartum journey so far – it’s something nearly 50% of the GLOBAL population has or will experience, making it extremely “common” but still incredibly individual from woman to woman.

I personally love it. There’s so much room for connection even with the differences we may experience.

AND THAT – is why I share my story and process. 

I hope there is something (one thing) you can take from this.

Please keep it respectful in the comments and know that I will respond at my own discretion. 

Remember that I, or any other creator or personal brand does NOT have to share these pieces of our lives. It’s a privilege.

Okay, I hate disclaimers. Let’s get into it! 

We Were Never Against Having Kids 

Though I put off the vibe online for YEARS that we weren’t keen on having kids, we took the “if it happens, we’ll figure it out” approach. So we weren’t AGAINST having kids.

And in fact, it was understood that if we had kids it would be PLURAL. Biologically or not. We did not want an only child (personal preference).

Once we had our first, we knew we’d want a second, Godwilling, close in age.

Not this close necessarily, but well under two years apart.

That’s all to say Bebe #2 was not planned, same as Bebe #1, but very much and so welcomed.

Why I Kept Bebe 2 From Social Media This Go Around

I had a friend that did this with her second, and I knew about her pregnancy from very early on. I just really enjoyed the freedom and privacy that she got to have for the majority of her second pregnancy.

While I absolutely love sharing a process,this go around… it needed to stay to myself for many reasons.

I simply did not have the capacity or energy to deal with any pushback or unwanted opinions. I understand that by putting something out, it may open the door for people to share their opinions or projections, regardless of me putting up a multitude of disclaimers…

Truly, I just had no capacity for that. Especially being 3.5 months postpartum at the point of getting pregnant again.

I also thought that there would be something fun about doing a reveal later down the road, and, here we are! My hope is this is fun for you, because it certainly is for me.

I had always planned to take one year photos with Bebe #1 in the same dress that I did his maternity photo shoot in. 

So, of course, my creator brain went to do that, holding Bebe #1 while wearing the dress that I wore for the first maternity shoot. But also being pregnant again in that same dress. 

I obviously wanted that photo for myself, but also thought it was such a fun ay to share the news with my audience.

I Got To Have “Both” 

When I say both, I mean, I got to have the privacy and joy of just being pregnant again and sharing with my close friends and family… While still documenting the process to share with my greater audience closer to the end of my pregnancy.

This pregnancy was SO vastly different from my first one physically, mentally, life-situationally. 

And so I definitely did want to share that, but it didn’t NEED to be in real time.

It also goes to show that you really only see 1% of someone’s life online. 

If I can withhold the physical, emotional and mental state of being pregnant with another baby…while just having had a baby, imagine what else people can hide. 

Not necessarily in a negative sense. 

But more so as a consumer being aware of your own entitlement or what you think you know about someone. It’s just being a conscious consumer, and this is an opportunity to bring late to that as well.

ALSO big L-O-L to posing and fooling the minds of the internet about someone’s physique.

Y’ALL…

When I say I shared my physical appearance as “normal” through strategic posing, this is what I mean…

I would share my real preggo state with my close friends list, and then the hidden appearance to my greater audience (bless those TA contractions). 

That’s enough about hiding Bebe #2 from the interwebs. Let us get into the juicy stuff now – starting with…

How We Found Out

I was one day late from starting my cycle. Yes, one day.

I was one of those lucky ladies whose cycle returned at six weeks, every 28 days like clockwork. 

Still was tracking my cycle, but ovulation was still all over the place.

I had all my PMS symptoms, then NOTHING (identical to Bebe #1). 

So the day I should have started, there was no blood and all PMS symptoms stopped. I felt “normal” – as “normal” as you can feel at 3-4 months postpartum.

…If you know, you know.

I literally made Nate get me tests that day.

The test said negative.

But I immediately said, “I’m pregnant.”

Actually, I said that if I wasn’t postpartum, and aware that things can be very wonky from a hormonal standpoint, I would definitely say I was pregnant. 

But there was some level of questioning and doubt because of being so early in that postpartum period.

I continued taking tests for the next 7 days… 

The line just continued to get darker for seven days. Then we did an official test with our family medicine doctor at Bebe #1’s five month appointment confirming the pregnancy.

Nathanael was not convinced by the home tests, but I was POSITIVE.

The Other Big Indicator…

My milk supply tanked like nobody’s business. You can see my supply here. 

Disregard the shades of purple. Just look at the overall volume. It was crazy.

This made me sad, but also we’d just started topping him off with formula at 4 months (30-35oz milk, 5-10oz formula). So that ratio just gradually, but also rapidly, shifted. 

Luckily that worked fine for him.

My Initial Feelings

When the first test was negative, Nate said to me, “Give me another baby…” And, I laughed. 

Much different vibe than the first go around. If you haven’t listened to my podcast on that, check it out here: Bébé Miller Birth Story Part 1 & Bébé Miller Birth Story Part 2

We very much enjoyed having Bebe #1, and it confirmed that we did want a second one very close in age. 

We are two adults, we are very aware how one becomes impregnated. So we knew that I could be pregnant this time around.

If it was, in fact negative, or continued to be negative, then we had discussed that we would try for sure around that six month postpartum mark.

The only actual concern that I had was how fresh I was from my C-section, and the integrity of my tissues. 

I was unsure if there were risks involved with my uterus attempting to grow a new placenta, or if the placenta adhered to the scar tissue on the C-section. 

These are all things that I discussed with my doctor once I was established with her. She did not seem to be concerned. Which definitely increased my confidence about our situation.

What’s Been Different

Medical 👏Care 👏Changes 👏

For this go-around, I have insurance and access to medical care, which meant access to anti-nausea meds and options for other issues that come along with pregnancy (specifically for me, in the first trimester).

Everything was new the first time in both pregnancy and postpartum. The physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and situational – ALL NEW.

With Bebe #1 we were building our first house so stress was HIGH, which became more clear with the LACK of stress we’ve experienced this time. 

We are established in our house, have everything we need for a baby, and just have more experience under our belts now. 

From a relationship standpoint, expectation standpoint, business standpoint, and how we raise babies standpoint… The lack of stress this time around really made clear how much stress there was the first time.

It’s not that we’ve figured out raising babies, but we have tools in the tool box. For our first baby I literally took 5-7 different courses I think between sleep and feeding.

I am not a “baby person.” I intuitively know my baby now because of taking these courses, and learning WHAT to look for, etc. 

So we’re both more comfortable with having another baby – while expecting it may be totally different than Bebe #1…But again, tools. We have tools. 

There’s a familiarity now. Competence builds confidence – also applies to babies. 

What’s Been Different PHYSICALLY?

• Physically there was less morning sickness, meaning I could be consistent with my lifts.

• I’ve not had the feeling like food was caught in my throat constantly. That was a symptom I felt like no one told me about the first time – No appetite and a frog in my throat.

• I didn’t have to eat every hour (again, due to having the anti nausea meds).

• I also drank 160 ounces of water daily like it was my only job in the first trimester. I don’t know if it’s due to blood volume doubling during this time, but this made a massive difference for me the second time around.

• My feet didn’t hurt! 

My weight gain in my first pregnancy went like this: 

15 pounds in the first trimester. Then maintained for almost the entire second trimester, then the rest of the weight gain happened in the third trimester, with some weight loss right before birth. 

I think that initial weight gain and lack of movement with my first trimester in my first pregnancy just led to my feet hurting.

This time around, I barely gained any weight my first trimester with Bebe #2, and my body had just expanded from Bebe #1 and had not yet returned to “normal.” 

I can’t say if that’s just my new norm or not, as my body didn’t have time to find equilibrium between babies. 

When I say my body felt more familiar, my ribs were already expanded, as were my feet and hips. 

The physiological changes had already taken place. 

I am still not yet sleeping with a pregnancy pillow, whereas I needed that at week 14 with Bebe #1 in order to not wake up with hip and back pain. 

There were sooo many physical changes that were drastic and FAST the first time that just weren’t a thing the second time around.

**And of course, If you followed my first pregnancy on Instagram, you know about THE PIT-SITUATION. 

Knock on all the wood, praise baby Jesus and mother Mary in a manger we have NOT had any MRSA infections this time.

Yes, my first pregnancy I got not ONE, but TWO MRSA infections in both armpits along with a YEAST 🤢 infection, between my bouts of MRSA….

It was a time.

But today is about THIS PREGNANCY, so, let’s move onto what I am EXCITED ABOUT!

What I’m Excited For / Why So Close?

Having the kids so close together, everything is still FRESH: 

What I wanted to do better through pregnancy and postpartum is still front of mind, which has been really fun to implement. 

**We’ll get into nutrition and training a bit later.

I’m excited that we still get a full year with Bebe #1 before adding another baby. 

When you get pregnant that soon after, thoughts about robbing the first child of time with you definitely come to mind, or they did for me.

But when I think about the fact that our baby will get just over a full year with us to himself, and in a much larger capacity than most babies…(in that Nate and I are both home)…I was able to be excited about adding another baby to that mix without feeling like Bebe #1 is missing out.

Recovering from postpartum and being pregnant at the same time.

This was a fun part… Here’s a photo of 4.5 months and 4 weeks pregnant (from 1 month PP).

I have been far less fragile with my training the second go around.

I was able to continue progressing my lifts 3-4 days per week this time because of the anti nausea meds. Bless!

First pregnancy I lifted maybe one time per week for the first 15 weeks because nausea was so bad and I didn’t have access to meds. I laid on the couch the full first trimester. Do not recommend it. Zero out of 5 stars.

Second go around my body didn’t feel nearly as foreign from a physical standpoint. Thus, I could continue to push and make needed modifications with confidence in my training. 

I followed MamasteFit prenatal program both times, but with much more gusto the second time. Literally, I was wrapping up their 16 week postpartum program when I re-enrolled in their prenatal training program.

I also am not prepping for a natural vaginal birth. That fact took a lot of weight off of mental and physical preparation for bebe 2…

Birth Plan For Bebe #2 (Different From Bebe #1)

I can’t say if I would or would not have gone for a VBAC if I got pregnant, let’s say 12 months postpartum. But there are slightly higher concerns with tissue efficacy in getting pregnant so soon after having a C-section. 

I’ve spoken to a fair amount of moms who had successful and non-successful VBACs, as well as those who scheduled a second or third C-section. 

I’ve personally opted for a scheduled C-section.

The research I found and spoke with my OB about showed risk for uterine rupture increases by 4.88%. That’s if the VBAC is within 18 months of the previous C-section. I would be well under that. I just CANNOT imagine going for a VBAC and having that happen. 

For me, the risk isn’t worth it.

I enjoyed my first labor very much, even with it ending in a C-section. I had a plan for when a C-section would be my choice, given the situation.

NOTE: I very much recommend the MamasteFit Birth Prep course. 

*Listen to my birth story podcast as well for more context (links above). 

So I felt empowered and autonomous through my entire labor experience. I would be much more disappointed if I went for a vaginal birth for the second one, and it ended in a C-section.

And again, with Bebe #1, I was recovering from both a near vaginal birth, dilated and pushing at a 10, and a C-section. As well as the emotional, physical and spiritual exertion that is involved in a natural birth. 

My son’s head was 15 inches around, and he was 9 1/2 pounds.

But it’s not about the weight, it’s about that head circumference. And maybe Bebe #2 has a pee head like me, but I’m not going through two labors to find out.

For me, and all factors considered, scheduled C-section just makes the most sense. Which I never necessarily thought I would say, but here we are.

We Cannot Talk About Bebe #2 Without Going Deep Into Medical Care And The System Here In America.

If you need to get caught up on my disgrace of an experience with Bebe #1, go watch my bebe highlight on Instagram. 

And to be clear, I LOVE western medicine, but hate the system it’s distributed through. I LOVE healthcare workers.

When I said I met with my doc, I am 100% referring to the ANGEL who actually performed my C-section and delivered Bebe #1. 

I had a TERRIBLE experience on my first go around with my midwife. She was straight up AWFUL. 

There was zero respect from her and she even mocked my desire for a natural birth. She would even give me shit every time that I denied a cervical exam. 

Again, I have several Instagram highlights you can go look at. 

She’s a disgrace to the medical field in my opinion, and I don’t understand how she works at this facility, because the rest of the people that I interacted with were absolutely fabulous. 

It was an actual prayer of mine that she was NOT present when I gave birth because I knew her presence would throw me off. Especially when going into a natural birth it’s extremely important that you feel fully supported, and that there is no tension or resistance anywhere.

So when I got to the hospital, I had an amazing labor and delivery team. They respected all of my wishes. And the doctor who was on call with my midwifery was amazing. 

She respected my wishes, always spoke to me very calmly, while giving me options and time to make decisions. Also, she gave me the risks of things, and the benefits of things. She really just did what I believe SHOULD happen in a birthing scenario.

With that being said, when I found out that I was pregnant, I called to make an appointment with her because even if I did not get a C-section; I wanted to speak with her and talk about my options.

She also did a fabulous job on my C-section and after stitching me up, let me know she stitched me up in a manner that if I wanted to try for a VBAC, that would be totally doable down the road, but that I would need to speak to my provider.

I called, and apparently she is extremely popular, which I can understand for very good reason. 

She was booked out for a year. 

So, I was super disappointed by that, but I had met with another doctor in my rounds at this midwifery last time, who I also enjoyed. I went ahead and said I can just work with her, that’s fine. 

They also allowed me to say that I do not want to, under any circumstance, see my past midwife. 

They were very understanding and actually offered that option TO ME based on the fact that they noticed that I wanted to change providers. 

I was reinforced by them that is my right, and that they would put a note in that I would never need to that I was never to be seen by her (which I very much appreciated). 

I get on the calendar with this other doctor. Then the clinic calls me back and says that the doctor who did my C-section heard that I had called, and remembered me, because it was one of the most active labors that she had witnessed in 30 years.

She was just curious about what I was doing for care, who my provider was going to be, if I was trying to do a homebirth or VBAC – what my plans were. 

THIS IS WHAT HEALTH CARE SHOULD BE. 

The night and day difference between this doctor and my midwife from my first pregnancy could not be further at each end of the spectrum. 

And I only bring light to this because I know that SO many women have their pregnancy, labor and postpartum experiences either tainted by or enhanced by healthcare providers.

In calling me back, the clinic let me know that she is fully booked, as I said, but she is opening up a spot that she straight up does not have time for, in order to have me as her patient because she wants to be sure I’m good to go. 

In my first appointment with her, the medical assistant comes in straight up like, “Are we going for a VBAC? What do you want for your goals?” and I said “Oh I mean I want to talk to her but based on my research I’m totally fine doing a scheduled C-section based on genetics and Bebe #1. I’m not really willing to go through that again.”

She was like, “OK, because if you wanted a VBAC I would go to bat for you when the doctor comes in.” 

And I was just like OH MY GOSH, IMAGINE BEING BACKED by the medical staff!!! It was just such a stark difference from my first experience. 

So that was a very long story, but I am going with the same doctor. We discussed how many biological kids I might have, what that means for C-sections, the actual risk involved with getting pregnant that soon which, according to her, is very, very low. 

She was not concerned at all. 

That is also based on factors like my health, lifestyle, first pregnancy and labor, so there is a lot of context there. 

***Everyone needs to speak with their provider, obviously, as well as doing their own research to make these decisions.

What It Means For Business – Did My Being The Breadwinner Have Any Bearing On This?

Honestly the thought of dragging out my goals was more daunting to me than just busting out the kiddos and moving along.

The back and forth of just “feeling like me again” to start over at the newborn stage seemed less appealing to me. 

So we would have tried at 6 months anyway, as I said. Just stay in that infant stage and raise the babies while managing the business. 

I had already shifted what I wanted to do with my business, where my energy needs to go, what I want to have control over, and what I want to delegate. 

And my approach for the next 2 to 5 years in reaching my goals, after having Bebe #1. 

None of that changes with Bebe #2. 

In fact it just becomes MORE pertinent that I take this approach.

Again, it was nice to already have established those facts and clarity in the process of becoming a mom with Bebe #1. 

You have seen the shift… 

I’ve terminated all 1:1 services so that I don’t have to be on calls, entered the YouTube space so that my content can be lifelong and far more strategic in my overall approach to media. 

This is all largely due to becoming a mum and my priorities in life overall.

If babies do one thing for entrepreneurs, they demand the practice of essentialism and you know I love that for us.

In Conclusion: 

Let me remind you, this blog (I hope) is a GIFT, and it is a privilege to share this information. 

I appreciate you; I am happy to answer questions in the comment section below, but will answer at my own discretion. 

Keep it respectful and please no projections. I hope we’re all emotionally mature adults here. This is a celebration. Don’t embarrass yourself. 

Godspeed, and I’ll catch you in the next one.