Making Hard Decisions (best question ever)
Hard decisions are scary. They typically involve change, big life moments, risk and potential failure. It’s what makes them HARD. It’s easy choose to put mascara on, or wear your fav leggings to the gym, to get gas, or to check your email. Yet it’s hard to hire a coach, to invest in yourself, to buy a house, to leave that guy (or girl), to quit that job, or go for it, to make that big move across the country. Those are HARD.
And today I am going to help make them…less hard. I won’t say “easy.” Because while this tactic will help you MAKE the decision, pull the trigger if your will, it won’t necessarily make the decision EASY. There will still be hesitation, because there is still risk, and newness, and fear, but there will at least be CLARITY in that process.
I learned this tactic in a group counseling course three years back. It was called the Genesis Process and it is truly life changing. But for now we focus on the ONE question that has helped me make hard decisions with ease since.
I suppose it’s really two questions.
What happens if I do ________? And What happens if I don’t?
Yes, it is that simple. Get a pen and paper and write it out. This will take some level of work and effort. HARD decisions should require some grit I believe.
What happens if you take the job? Leave the guy? Make the move? Hire the coach? Start your biz?
What do you feel like, what does your life look like? Who is with you? Where are you? How much are you making? What is different about your life in this scenario?
Now, brainstorm the opposite…
What happens if you stay put, if you don’t leave the guy, if you don’t start your biz, or make the move? If you don’t hire the coach or take the course?
What do you feel like? Where does your life lead? Who are you with? How much are you making? Does your life change AT ALL?
This can be a tactic that is met with hesitation because we often know the answers already, sister. You know inside, in your gut, which you should choose. But it’s scary, and risky, and there is potential to fail, and it’s new. But when you write the two scenarios out, you can clearly see what needs to happen.
It will still be hard. Fear will still be present. But you’ll have clarity and a vision.
The process is really a self counseling technique in order to get you to find the answer you already have inside.
And as a little bonus, for my worriers out there…
If you’re still not satisfied. Then ask this other life changing question from the Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris.
This practice has helped me take more leaps in 2018 than I ever would have without this new mindset.
Ask yourself – “what’s the worst that can happen?”
Like literally lay it out. Write down the worst possible situation or outcome.
What happens?
Great. Now, you’re not finished.
Brainstorm on that same page, how might you come back from that? What might a contingency plan be?
Sure the worst will suck, but it probably won’t be AS BAD as we make it out to be in our heads. And we are more resilient than we think as well.
When you lay out the biggest fear, the “worst that can happen,” + a few possible solutions, we start to see the weight of the worst possible scenario isn’t the heavy after all.
So, my friend. Ask yourself some simple questions:
- What happens if I do _____?
- What happens if I don’t do _______?
- And What’s the worst that can happen? + How might I come back from that?
I swear on these practices. Give them a try, gain some clarity and make those hard decisions sister.
Let me know if you have used these before or plan to in the future! 🙂
